Aug 11th, 2007
Ten Reasons Why I was the World’s Worst Waiter
I worked as a waiter in a Mexican restaurant when I was in graduate school, and must have been the world’s worst waiter. Here’s 10 reasons why.
10. Once I accidently spilled a pitcher of ice water on a two month old baby. Hey… at least it wasn’t coffee.
9. I never got the hang of which table was which number, and they kept changing stations on me, so I would often bring the wrong food to the wrong table.
8. I was so disorganized while I was on duty that the managers either had to help me with my side work or sit and wait for me to finish it by myself.
7. Since I worked in a Mexican restaurant most of the entree’s came in some form or tortilla or another, and so I couldn’t tell which entree was which, and often resulted in my bringing the wrong food to the wrong table.
6. Since getting the right food to the right table was too much for me, forget about remembering which person got which entree, so the people at the table, who knew even less about what the entrees looked like, would have to figure out what they got.
5. Most of the time the other waiters would end up bringing my food out to my tables, or it would sit under the heat lamps for too long.
4. Sizzling chicken and steak fajitas were the most popular menu item, but I’d freak out when I was carrying them on a tray because they’d always be right under my ear.
3. I burned my fingers so many times on hot plates that the tips of them had lost most sensation.
2. I piled two plates on top of one another while clearing a table, and shot a load of lemon butter all over the mayor of the city.
1. I never learned the birthday song (hey…it was in Spanish!) and so whenever one of my tables had a birthday, there was an awkward moment when I was supposed to start the birthday song, and when it finally did start, I would only mumble along with the words.